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How to Survive an Alien Abduction

Cách sống sót khi bị người ngoài hành tinh bắt cóc

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Intergalactic ambassadors of peace? More like sneaky space creeps. Live through your ordeal with these tips.

You will need

Mental focus

Acting ability

Brawling skills

Iron will

A disease

Reinforced undergarments

Aluminum foil or hubcaps (optional) PLAY

Step 1: To resist a telepathic assault, focus your mental activity against mind control by centering your thoughts on the word "no."

Tip: Use aluminum foil or hubcaps for lasting protection against brain rays. PLAY

Step 2: To resist a physical assault, act submissive and intellectually inferior. When your captor gets close enough, surprise them with your cunning and agility. PLAY

Step 3: Refuse any demands to take them to your leader. The minute you do you've gone from useful informant to cosmic snack. PLAY

Step 4: Aliens are notoriously susceptible to earthborn diseases. Try to contaminate your captors by sneezing, coughing, breathing, and being grody in their general direction. PLAY

Step 5: To fend off the dreaded probe and other so-called scientific experiments, just slip on a sturdy pair of reinforced undergarments. For continuous protection, wear these everyday under your regular clothing. Once the aliens realize they're not getting any "scientific data" from you, you'll be released alive, and with your earthling dignity intact. Or, they'll have you as a snack. PLAY

Did You Know? Physicist Stephen Hawking believes aliens are almost certain to exist, and that human contact with them would be extremely dangerous. PLAY

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